When the Well Runs Dry

How to prime a pump:
1. Be sure your well runs dry shortly after a traumatic life event.
2. Be sure your well runs dry when you need cold running water to help heal your horse.
3. Be sure your well runs dry after hours on the day before your husband is heading out of town on a business trip.
4. Be sure your engineer husband is determined to coax the pump into working in an attempt to get enough water to take a shower at 4:20am, precisely 1 hour and 20 minutes before he's supposed to be on a plane to Toronto.

5. Have water delivery guy tell you: "yup, your problem is your well is dry. I can see rocks".
6. Pay to have well filled with water.
7. Turn on pump. Get excited when water trickles out of taps. Get stressed when flow of water stops.
8. Call company you think installed pump and ask for help. Find out company only installed UV filter for pump. Ask them for advice anyway.
9. Take note of company's advice. Double check their advice on Internet.
10. Open taps to reduce pressure in pump. Think that pressure must have lessened. Use giant plumber's wrench to remove plug in top of pump. Find out you were wrong. GET WET.
11. Run upstairs, grab containers to catch water spraying out of pump.
12. Get sprayed with water until pressure gauge reaches zero. Find towels to mop up water on floor.

13. Pour bottled water into pump in an attempt to "prime it". Find that pump is pretty much full. Turn pump on. Trek through house leaving behind wet footprints and turn on taps.
14. Jump excitedly when water spurts from taps. Swear loudly when water stops.
15. Look at pump. Look at pump some more. Double check Internet instructions. Look at pump again.
16. Call back company that didn't install pump and beg for more help.
17. Explain, when prompted, that you ran out of water because you were using it to hose injured horse's legs. Get chastised by company for using so much water.
18. Beg company for more help anyway. Do suggested checks, figure out that filter is clogged. Listen to helpful instructions on how to change filter. Attempt to change filter. Fail miserably.
19. Try again, and again, and again to remove filter cover-- fail again, and again, and again.
20. Call father-in-law. Reach same conclusion. Try to remove filter cover again. Fail again.
21. Run outside to get hose. Hook up hose to tank which by-passes filter. Run hose upstairs and outside. Fill horse buckets with brown, muddy water.
20. Wish for a shower.
21. Look outside and find it's starting to rain.